Oregon is good for me.
For one I am not constantly reminded by familiar spaces that now feel so achingly empty, that I am 7 days into Life After Dog.
For two, the lack of reminders mean I can actually sleep. 8 solid uninterrupted hours last night. Can’t remember the last time that happened.
For three, it is beautiful here. Orange, yellow and red leaves. Crisp fall scent. I ran 3 miles in the woods today and felt my inner garden stir with something I couldn’t quite grasp.
I had a thought last night I couldn’t quite grasp, though it is circling the fringe of my mind.
What if love just grows more powerful when someone leaves us?
If that love was good and pure and true, what if removing the shells of a body and the physical act of being in each other’s presence, well, what if it removes that which is material in love, and simply leaves us with that which is divine.
What if love somehow grows stronger in Life After Dog? The lessons I learned in raising him from an aggressive abused little guy to a pool of adoring unconditional love in the end. I thought that was the pinnacle of love.
What if there is more?
What if Dog is still out there teaching me, and his transformation and letting go into what’s next holds more than I’ve yet grasped. What if there are lessons for my heart that I haven’t yet imagined, because that particular spiritual and emotional shell had yet to be broken prior to last Friday.
Naturally most good things in life I have learned from Star Wars. It has helped me now as I had this thought last night. What if Dog and Love is like a Jedi Master? What if Obi Wan had it right?
If you strike me down I’ll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
What if the power of Love just gets stronger after. The act of release and surrender being the ingredients one needs to ascend higher.
What if Dog is like Obi Wan, a Jedi Master?
Except Dog was a lot more like Yoda. Tiny but mighty. There is no try, only do.
I like this idea very much. This idea that there is something even more powerful to be found in Love After, then there was in Love Before.
Something I’ve yet to imagine.
So I guess what I’m saying is that if a vision of Dog pops up in the middle of the night with a Jedi robe and light saber? I will not be surprised.
And I suppose if I find a deepening of my heart, a quickening of my soul, a new beat previously unplayed. If I am wandering through my interior gardens in the weeks to come and happen to find a gift box sitting there, holding a gift of the heart I have yet to know? Well that won’t surprise me either.
Tomorrow brings 26.2 miles of trail. It’s been a long time since I have done this distance and the week took a toll, but I am going to pretend Jedi Dog is looking after me, helping me with the force, and maybe even running along beside on legs that were not capable in this life.
And in the meantime I am going to eat a wise dinner, get good sleep, enjoy the gift of fall in Oregon, and imagine what a life would look like with even more Love in it.
The possibilities are endless.
Because, Love, is endless.
It last forever, only becoming more powerful than we can possibly imagine.