I haven’t been writing much on this blog as of late.
A poem here or there, a tiny reflection or small wisdom when the mood strikes. A few odd words with my characteristic pictures of mountain, birds or sky. Just enough to say hello from time to time.
Earlier in the winter I told a friend, who always sees the spiritual truth in any situation, that I was concerned about my lack of writing and making art, and I didn’t want to fall into the trap of becoming so busy I didn’t take time to nourish my creative gifts.
She laughed and very wisely pointed out that I have spent the last year creating a new life for myself. She said that I shouldn’t worry about medium, venue or form, but just allow creativity to take it’s own course.
So I have, because I believed she was right. Writing just hasn’t seemed as great a part of that course as it once was.
Four years ago I started this blog as a vehicle to to help me develop my voice. I had gone through a life changing divorce and was learning to find myself as a single woman in her mid 30’s. I was deeply invested in authenticity, self-expression, and learning to embrace the gift of a life unfiltered through the lens of anyone else.
Sunshine in Winter became a friend of sorts, she was always there for me to provide a space to process thoughts on everything. Single life. Dating life. Life with Dog. Alaska life. Spiritual life. Just life… in all it’s beautiful, messy shapes and forms.
I became to have a sense of interdependence with her. She saw me through happy times and hard times and massive transitions as I struggled to integrate the new landscape of life with my own heart and voice. Essays, poetry, photography, art, little fragments and phrases- she took shape according to my needs and helped me shape myself.
She watched over me through the betrayals of broken men, the beauty of enduring friendship, the loss of my beloved dog and boon companion, and the beginning of new love in my life.
Which brings me back to the why of where I started. I have written less as of late, because it just hasn’t been the season. The beginnings of that new love turned into something real and sustainable. It has taken time and attention to nourish it in the way it not only deserves, but requires so new life can grow in deep, rich, healthy soil.
At present I’m sitting in the sunshine on my front porch surrounded by happy pots of flowers, one cantankerous garden gnome and two little sweet white dogs who I dearly love. There is a a malcontent calico cat sitting by the window screen yowling for all she’s worth, because she is deeply affronted at being kept inside since she operates under the illusion she is an outdoor cat, though she can’t even climb a tree and once fell off the fence when her bulky body tried to jump up.
There are plants growing all around outside and inside. We adopted a greenhouse worth of flora and fauna earlier this year from a couple moving out of the country looking to rehome their virtual garden. I’ve always believed that plants make any space warmer and more friendly, and their emerald leaves remind me that even on the darkest of days, life is always at work growing.
I can hear footsteps walking around inside what I like to call the Little Cottage in the Woods, the house I bought last summer which was promptly painted like a rainbow and decorated with a cheerful, eclectic mix of colorful, vintage furnishings so every room feels a bit like a garden party. It is my husband to be, and I can tell from the sound of the steps that he is in our tangerine colored kitchen getting more coffee, so he can come join me on the porch for a bit more relaxation and sunshine before we go find a trail to run.
This is life right now. Sunshine, animals, plants, color. Lots of love, everywhere. It is warm and beautiful and in it’s own way, an act of creation. None of this existed a year ago. But it does now.
I am the happiest I have ever been.
And I am ready to start writing again.
I have loved this blog. If nothing else, Sunshine in Winter has been a companion who reminded me to write. She kept me accountable to practice the art of writing, and I found that practicing writing leads to more writing. If not for this blog I would never have found the courage to start trying to publish my work nor would I would have had work to publish.
She is part of me, and I owe her much.
Hello my old friend, it is so very good to see you again.