This week I’ve been trying to have a 70’s hippie chick approach to time.
Loose. Groovy. One day at a time. Taking it easy and taking it as it comes.
This is in marked contrast to what sometimes feels like an 80’s power girl approach where my schedule feels so crammed with appointments and obligations, I sometimes show up to my day already stressed out, armored in muscled knots of shoulder pads, rushed in hurried steps of spike heels. It’s like somehow I almost forget to breathe and have no sense of internal relaxation until everything is checked off the list and I’m back home doing the whole wine, netflix and chill thing.
For the record, That 70’s Girl feels a lot better than Working Girl. It is the difference between space vs. claustrophobia. Calm vs. feeling like my schedule is a band of wild horses running out of control. Empowerment vs. exhaustion.
The thing is, I do need to take responsibility for the fact that sometimes I am horrible at saying no, at carving out the space I need to rock my whole intuitive introvert thing and really just have time to breathe. This is a work in progress, this past year marked by an improved ability to look at a no to something else as a yes to something in myself.
However, other times, despite my best efforts, life is the band of wild horses running amok and the spaces I left open are quickly consumed by trying to wrangle them back in. Overall life in Alaska has tended to take on a busy pace, and I am left lamenting about my lack of time. How there is never enough time in the day, how I never seem to have the time to do ____, how if I just had more time I would ___.!
I have this tendency to focus on and give myself limiting messages on what I feel is a glowing scarcity in my life: Time.
I do believe in the future there will be more time coming. Certainly moving to an island where life goes at a slower pace will help with this. But even on an island, life keeps on spinning and more wild horses are bound to come my way. Which is why this week I have been focusing on telling myself, I have all the time I need.
On looking at time as an abundance and not a lack, where I remind myself that everything has its place, everything has its moment, and that I will accomplish all the things I am supposed to accomplish while I’m here. Life doesn’t deny us the good things it has placed on our hearts to manifest; everything will come in its due time.
We have our own ideas for our lives; many of these intersect with life’s plans, which is the very reason we feel called to fulfill them in the first place. But ultimately, the nature of our lives sometimes unwinds without us accomplishing all the things we think we should do and instead accomplishing all the things our souls know we are here to do.
Turns out this perspective on time is the glowing difference between a sense of prosperity vs. insufficiency. And for the record, the flowy glowy prosperity thing feels a whole lot better for the condition of my stress and mind and heart.
Time is its own mystery; we don’t always know how much we will have. But we can know that we are exactly where we need to be for the necessity of our growth in this space and time. And we can know that we will accomplish all that we came here to do. And we can know that Life will not withhold what is good and true for us, even as we make our own goals to move towards what feels good and true right now.
This week, despite the busy, frenetic- how do I juggle work, writing, family, friendships, running, all the stuff to do for this upcoming move and finding time to just be me- pace, I am trying to take a relaxed approach to it all. Cross one thing off the list and then another. Trust that there is enough minutes in the day to go around. Wave my peace signs, take deep breaths, wear my cool striped bell bottoms and 70’s style ringer t. Strive to move towards what feels good and true.
All while remembering- Time is on our side.