There are cars and city noises and people bustling outside my window as I write from Hamburg, Germany where we are staying across from Hamburg’s version of Grand Central Station.
So much life and light going on at all hours of the day and night as people come and go from the trains.
I’m a bit disoriented. Which tends to happen anytime you fly for hours on end and find yourself in a foreign place with a different time zone; I went to sleep at 6:00 last night unable to keep my eyes open any longer.
Jet lag aside and a few ups and downs with the hotel/rental car places, it’s very good to be here. Good to be exploring and seeing and learning and tripping over the language and fulfilling my brother’s last request that I meet his German friends.
When it matters, we will come a long way for love. We will cross oceans and drive all night. We will defy the odds and risk much. We will leap bounds and do things that can be classified as crazy.
I don’t know why it felt so important to do this act of love for my brother; it is likely more than he might have done for me had our situations been reversed- not because he didn’t love me, but because he struggled to show love and he struggled with relationships.
The social/emotional/relational world was painful for him. He struggled to let people in and struggled to keep people out.
Perhaps that is the crux of today: he struggled to love and yet he found people who understood that and loved him and he them. And he told me how meaningful it would be if I met them scarce days before his unexpected death.
Lasts requests come in all shapes and sizes, but I know one when I hear one.
So here I find myself in Hamburg, and after spending a charming morning running through its picturesque streets and enjoying all the new sights and sounds with my husband, I am preparing to meet these friends within the hour.
My husband asked if I was nervous, and truthfully I’m not. It doesn’t have to look or be a certain way. I have no expectations other than hoping for good conversation, good food and the knowledge that I did it.
I completed the request.
Loved my brother enough that I crossed the ocean for him. Even though I had no idea what was waiting on the other side.
But sometimes we just need to know we are capable of that kind of love. For our own souls growth. Capable of loving beyond the bounds of what others understand.
Because I fervently believe that that is what life is really about- growing the bounds of love. And I also fervently believe that Brent now knows, now embodies, now exists in a truth he may not have realized in this life, but lives in the beyond:
We become the love we give.
Auf Wiedersehen with love,